It’s time for a reboot! As you probably didn’t even notice, this blog has been idle for too many months. My web weaver constantly reminds me of how important it is to share information, so here I am.
My assistant, Julia, and I were talking this morning about how important (and difficult) it is to commit to the little things that make a big difference in one’s life, and that one of the biggest deterrents is fear of failure. When you’ve tried so many times and fallen short, how can you try again?
So let’s look at that word, FAILURE. When I think about the nature of failure, I see it as merely a feedback mechanism to let us know that our current choices and strategies are not working. As human beings, we are not like a faulty bridge or a piece of equipment that can fail due to faulty engineering. We are engineered to fall, and rise, and fall and rise again, building resilience, knowledge, and ultimately, wisdom and power as we learn from our ‘failures’ and grow ever stronger.
So, you forget to floss one day. What if you go for three days!? Most important is to remember that every moment is a new chance to choose again. The great thing about the human body is its ability to rebuild and repair very quickly when given a challenge. Unless your teeth have all fallen out, it’s never too late to begin to floss.
Exercise? Same thing. It doesn’t even have to hurt. Start the first day back to your ability to walk up a hill without panting to walking up and down the stairs once the first day, and then twice the second day, and three times the third. See how many days you can match the number until you have to start over again. By the 30 day mark, you’ll be strong enough to run up the hill!
Supplements? Believe it or not, I must admit I have trouble taking supplements regularly. Unless you are wired differently than my creative, right-brain self, you might struggle with that too. One thing that helped one patient of mine was to make an excel sheet on her computer desktop, with supplements and dosage of each across the top, and dates down the left side. Every day as she sat at her desk, she opened the supplement drawer next to the desk and typed an X in the column of each supplement listed. It lasted for quite a few days before she dropped the ball. But it’s never too late to pick it up again. Seeing the days stack upon themselves was a source of satisfaction and accomplishment, and it will be interesting to see if any patterns emerge as to how many days she misses, and how she manages to stay on track. One thing I think might help would be to have a 1-10 scale of how well (or not) she feels as the days pass of hitting or missing supplements.
At the heart of all of this is our ability to love ourselves. If you don’t believe that, notice how you feel about someone you care about who is blatantly self-destructive. It’s not easy to have compassion for someone who purposely sets out to hurt themselves, or ignores all norms of self-care. If you think about it, not taking supreme care of one’s self is its own degree of self-destructive behavior.
If you can’t love yourself enough yet, choose a buddy who loves you and hold each other accountable for your commitments. If your issues run deeper than that, take yourself on a retreat, make time to reboot, a time to be pampered, to swim in the ocean, to get some TLC, and reset your ability to have loving compassion for your exquisite self.
Book a retreat, and let’s make a plan together.